Married with Kids

I thought we were doing well. Counselling seemed to be working for me and D, we'd spen a lovely weekend together without rowing. A first I think.
With D's strange shifts, I'd been getting the kids up and off to school with no problems.
Then yesterday she tells me there's food missing from the cupboard upstairs. This is our storage area for food becuase if its left in the kitchen those thieving pigs will scoff it all. Nope, someone had been in the box and stolen something. M obviously as he's the only thieving bastard in the house. So I decided today that the bedroom would be locked.
Then we came home.
The chain locked had been slipped off (you can do it - my fault for not putting it on right), more food had gone and the stupid idiot had even left the light on.
Then he refused to come home, wouldn't answer his phone or texts - eventually sending one to me saying they were "threatening". Playing the fucking victim again.
He eventually arrived back about 9:20, and D shouted at him and doled out the punishent. Not me!! So now if he doesn't change his attitude then he's not coming to Cyprus with us. Quite how that's going to happen I don't know, but I hope she sticks to it.
Me? One more step along the divorce road. I'm ready to walk. I just don't want to as me and D have made so much progress over the past couple of weeks.
I told D that I felt it would get to the stage where it would be him or me, then of course I got the normal "how do you think I feel?". So I'm not allowed feelings?
Father is ringing him tomorrow, but he's about as useful as John Prescott at Weight Watchers.

And things were going so well... Idiot boy M has probably put my recovery back by at least a week tonight. first off I came home to a complete mess left by both of them, and a LOT of food been eaten. Biscuits, sweets and some of D's snackajacks. B cleaned it up, M had just left it. He eventually came home with the wrong attitude, trying to pass blame on to B, giving it the usual "what you gonna do" attitude. This is where my buttons started being pushed.
Now, both of them had to stay in to see the police over a smashed window - ours, not something they'd done. Turns out they never came after all, but M decided he had better things to do than help up out and wanted to out. Start the fight. I called him selfish, then screamed it at him - it was either that or I would have smacked him.
Then he apparently told his mum that he really hates me. When D told me this afterwards I said "the feeling's mutual". Bastard.

On the whole last week wasn't too bad. The St John's wort seem to be working and I'm not feeling so down anymore. It was pretty quiet on the children front - one major argument with M as he decided to play football for a friends team at a moment's notice, without consulting us, and coming home after 11:30 on a school night. We've had a few selfish moments today (Saturday) as well. Typical, but not as bad as normal.
Another silent treatment from D today as she'd got her heart set on going to ikea, and I said no. But its because I'd "lead her on". Stupid woman.
Relate counselling on Thursday was pretty productive, but we were discussing us-couple not us-family. Some good things came out which we're working on for the next couple of weeks.
And B has been strangely helpful over the past few days. Wierd....
D's feeling a whole lot better at work, which helps. This despite dragging me out of bed at 6am to take her to the train station. Some strange shifts. So I come home, go back to bed for half an hour, then get the kids up. But because D has explained to the kids that I was "feeling down" and they should give me grief - they're not!! Suits me fine. Did this 2 days last week with no problems, got it 4 days this week. Fingers crossed it will all work out.
And my job's getting better as well. All settled down now from the crap I had last year.

Woke up this morning and D was incredibly sorry for treating me like she did last night. And she's promised to "be there for me". We'll see. If she can put her own needs aside for once. It shouldn't have happened at all last night, she was angry because I'd ruined her night. Selfish cow.

...later...

D tells me she wants to make it up to the kids for what happened last night. Huh? A slight change of plans thats all, and we went home earlier than we should have. It wasn't a major disaster, so what the hell do the kids have the right to be angry about?

Well it appears so. All the symptoms are there, so I headed to the health shop this morning to pick up some St John's wort. There ain't no way I'm going down the anti-depressant route. Been there, done that, never again. Lets just hope this is now the "bottom" so things can start to improve.