M has been stealing again, and breaking into our bedroom to do it. D handled the punishment, but agreeing to let him work for his football money. Did he? Nope.

Thursday was back at Relate. Huge fight with D before going, over M and his actions (or lack of - hadn't done any chores at all). so the counselling session did not go well at all. And I'm beginning to dislike the therapist, she kept talking over me and throwing her opinions in before hearing anyone elses. Probably won't be back for a while. so I got the silent treatment before and after, although D denied it.

So 2 nights in a row I cooked, washed up, tidied up and sorted the laundry.

Friday I got a text message from D basically apologising for Thursday and how I took the brunt of it, but I'd upset her. christ I'd only shouted at her, it was nothing major. Didn't get home unti late as there was a huge accident which stopped me for an hour and a half. She was ok with me when I got back. Again, M had done nothing.

Saturday, huge huge row. The atmosphere carried on throughout the day, and I was feeling almost as low as 1st January. We talked but around in circles as usual, and I found it incredibly hard just communicating with the kids. Their attitudes didn't help matters much, but I really can't be bothered to talk to them or even interact at the moment. I feel like I could explode at them at any time with all the bickering and arguing. ALL I WANT IS SOME FUCKING PEACE AND QUIET!!! D is also upset that i'm feeling this bad as I "won't let anyone in". Of course the subject of divorce came up during our chats - she brought it up first - but despite everything I still want to make this work.
Oh yeah, I told her if I know things were going to be this bad, I wouldn't have married her. That went down incredibly well... not. Yet its ok for her to tell me the same thing? On several occasions? Hypocritical.

So its now 10pm, D's gone to bed as she can't cope with me in a mood. B's gone to bed annoyed with me because I told him he'd lost some pocket money for not doing certain jobs, and M's gone to bed again without doing any chores.

And I'm sat here thinking...again... why am I bothering?
D thinks I don't love her because I'm being "too distant". What the hell can I do about that? My marriage sucks but I'm just supposed to forget about it and be "happy"?? Doesn't work like that. I do love her dearly, but my life was a lot better when I was single.